Monday, April 19, 2010

The Credit Card Shuffel

HEY BANK OF AMERICA,  next time you plan on transferring $4,000 from one of my credit cards to yours, give me a heads up! Sure I applied for your card hoping to use it for a transfer someday -- but I also applied to college too. They didn't send me my first tuition bill before I accepted, charge me a $150 acceptance fee and neglect to tell me about it. Your banking system and horrendous customer service steams my clams.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Whole Thing Really Steams my Clams

Pronunciation: \ˌsteems-mi-clay-ams\
Function: exclamation 
Etymology: who the hell knows? 
Date: who the hell cares?
1 : a statement expressing the essential nature of being perturbed by an act, event, person or thought. 
2 : the action or the power of describing, explaining, or making definite and clear that the object or action being described is less than desirable to the describer 
3 : the action or process of clam steaming

So hi. I'm Red. And there are certainly things in this world that make me happy -- elated if you will.  I enjoy many things: puppies, pay raises, the rare sighting of a hot guy at Sandcastle amongst a sea of oversized women in tankinis... Don't get me wrong, I am by no means a predominantly negative person.  In fact, by some miracle of nature, I have morphed in to something of an optimist in these past few months. I suppose I have my new job and the indelible patience of my boyfriend to thank for that (God bless you Pid, my love). But one thing that may never change about me is my innate ability to rant.

Mama Red says I shoulda been a lawyer.  To be honest, I probably would have kicked ass as a lawyer. But the thought of that much more schooling was too much for me and the size of those books gave me nightmares.  (What? I never claimed to be a motivated optimist.)  So my suitable solution is to, rather than argue with witnesses, judges and juries, simply bitch to you people.  I'll keep it brief, and I'd love it if you'd submit your laments to me as well so I can post them.

I have been thinking about doing this for a while -- updating the world on horrendous (or, in some cases, simply inconvenient) experiences that I have in the world.  Rather than bore you with "This one time at band camp" stories, I plan to focus my attention on relatable isntances. 

For example -- had I started this blog 2 months ago I would have posted about Burger King's irrational breakfast price hike at my local restaurant.  HEY BK,  forcing me to pay the same amount for a drink, croissantwich and hashbrown as I do for a Whopper, fries and a drink is NOT what I would call "having it my way." Your price hike steams my clams.

Or, had I been blogging two weeks ago I would have bitched incessantly about Pep Boys general lack of know-how, care or respect in living up to their posted promises OR advertised expertise.  HEY PEP BOYS, when the sign says "drop off after 7, guaranteed to be done the next day," I expect it to be true! Just because your customer service people are illiterate doesn't mean your customers are. We want what we read. FINISH MY DAMN CAR.  Oh, and also... remember how you told me nothing was wrong and my car must have smelled like gas inside because "I just filled it up"?  Well turned out I ACTUALLY needed a new fuel injector. YOU KNOW NOTHING.And it steams my clams.

These are the types of things I'm going to rant about.  It will be my hope that enough of you begin to follow my blog and have fair warning about these issues so that you can do a bit of legitimate research prior to investing your time and money in places that may waste both.

So off we go!